Saturday, August 28, 2004 6:55:51 PM
Hey guys, read this, tell me what you think. I wrote it last year for an English assignment. And the title I gave it was horribly crappy - "Carnival Terror"
Any suggestions for a new name?

It is yet another carnival night in mid-August. A stale wind blows the smell of popcorn, cotton candy and sweat through the brightly lit midway, full of people gorging themselves on sensation.

The noise on the midway has been growing steadily all day. The day started with carnies politely calling to passerby to try their luck, and mothers leading their sticky toddlers to the tamest rides. Now, at night, it is an entirely different picture. Carnies are hollering at the crowd to play THEIR game, and throngs of teens are all daring each other in loud boastful voices to go on the fastest and tallest rides.

On top of all this noise, the din of the rides breaks in a steady wave over the crowd. They make normal mechanical noises, of metal on metal, gears grinding, and cables groaning under their load.

Suddenly, a loud pop reverberates through the fairground, and people stop, craning their heads to see what extraordinary sideshow feat they missed. Then they hear screams. Not the falsely terrified screams of someone paying for the illusion of danger, but the primal screams that can only come from a human in extreme agony. The noise of the crowd stops as if someone has pressed the mute button, and the other rides slowly grind to a halt, as everybody turns to see what’s happening.

A ride, the Waveswinger, has collapsed. Now, half of the ride lies on the ground like a crumpled swan. It has fallen and crushed the passengers under it, and half the passengers are dead or severely injured. The young inexperienced ride operator sits in mute shock, unable to comprehend what has just happened and unaware of what to do. A man from the crowd yells "Call a ---ing ambulance, dammit!" and the ride operator finally wakes up and springs into action.

As he does this, the fairground is swept into a state of mayhem and chaos. Before any have the fairgoers have had a chance to see anything else, the carnies have jumped in front of the ride and are pushing people away. Within minutes, the midway is jammed with rescue vehicles.

The scene under the fallen ride is grotesque. Screams full of pain and agony ring out in the dark space under the ruined canopy, only to be muffled by the pressing weight of the ride and by the loud sirens growing steadily nearer, but never there. The people caught under the ride are in various states of consciousness, and the dead snuggle right up to the living. Blood is already soaking the ground, stemming from too many broken limbs and gaping wounds.

As quickly as possible, crying teens, shocked mothers, and the rest of the crowds are herded out of the fairground. Some are given return passes, not like any will after what they have seen. But as always in the carnival, the show must go on and the Ferris wheel must keep turning.

One person's monument to crass commercialism is another person's fantasyland.
  •  Ryan
  • 57.38% (Neutral)
  • Lot Foreman
Saturday, August 28, 2004 7:23:02 PM
if you wrote that, who typed it up??? 
"If life was fair elvis would be alive and the impersonators would be dead"-carson
Tuesday, August 31, 2004 7:54:52 PM
What do you mean who typed it up? Am I missing something?

Oh wait, my carpal tunnel syndrome is acting up....[;)]
One person's monument to crass commercialism is another person's fantasyland.
BSA Mike
Tuesday, August 31, 2004 8:06:04 PM
Wednesday, September 1, 2004 3:05:00 AM
Are you sure you did not get some pointers on writing that story from VA Inspector? lol lol
"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." -- Mark Twain
Wednesday, September 1, 2004 3:24:58 AM
Seriuously though, what would prompt you to write a story like that? Pretty morbid if you ask me.
"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." -- Mark Twain
Wednesday, September 1, 2004 1:27:23 PM
Yeah, it is pretty morbid. I usually don't write like that, but I kind of realized that when I read it after... it was for a school assignment.

Also at the time I was doing research on the Edmonton Mindbender accident, a roller coaster accident here in 1986, so I guess I was kind of in the frame of mind. If anyone wants the summary I did on the accident, tell me and I'll email you a copy.
One person's monument to crass commercialism is another person's fantasyland.