(Found this onlie this morning.. Since im a Lions fan, I feel his pain)
Dear Jets,
You may or may not have seen this coming. I want to first let you know that this decision was not an easy one. We had some great times together, and while you will always be my first love, it is time for me to move on. We are breaking up.
I wish I could say that “it’s not you, it’s me”…. but it is, in fact, you. You are selfish, undisciplined, braggadocios and self deprecating. Yo...u embarrass me at every turn, and have turned yourself into a franchise built on the backs of weak men.
Rex Ryan: He is a slovenly, loud mouthed, players coach. He would rather be liked by his boys, than feared by his players. His “defensive mind” is retarded, and his new focus is writing sad post-game press conferences.
Mark Sanzhez: There should be a rule about being on the cover of GQ magazine in fur. The rule is: If you can’t throw the football, you should not be on the cover of GQ magazine in fur. Honestly I think it is time to put Mark Brunel on the field, and let Sanchez live out the rest of his days in the middle seat, between six cousins, in the front of a gardening van.
Plax, Holmes, Greene, Mcnight, and Cromartie: These overpaid horses need to be taken out behind the barn and put down. Dropped balls, bad routes, fumbles, missed tackles, and on-field ‘sulking’ is what this group is made up of. I check the New York post everyday for a club shooting so that we can start to rebuild.
Brian Shottenheimer: I should have known not to trust a guy that graduated from Florida with a degree in Exercise and Sports. I mean, I am no academic, but what kind of animals do you think make up an exercise and sports class at UF? This is your offensive mind? A guy who wrote his senior thesis on the Jumping jack?
Jets, our relationship has become one in which you take everything, and give nothing. At the end of the day, you are simply a well dressed loser. The trips to the playoffs and new Stadiums are just pieces of flare made to distract your loyal followers from the truth: You are a Ferrari with a Toyota engine.
It’s over: Please don’t reach out to me. I have moved on and plan on being very happy with my new team.