Yep, he passed away tonight at age 60. He was having trouble breathing and the rescue squad came & got him, and took him away to the hospital. We got a phone call saying that he passed away to the good Lord. Right now, suicide is stronger & stronger than it ever has been for me. IF i commit suicide, i hope there's a nice big midway up there in Heaven for me with a Sky Diver, Rainbow, Loop-o-Plane, Kamikaze, the works....a never-ending midway of classics! Sky Wheel, etc... Rides that are Perfect and won't break down ever! You all will know if i commit suicide as i won't ever post here again. It's been fun here on Matt's message board, Matt Cook, Mike, Sean, the rest of the gang here. But, something tells me to go ahead and go on with him...

After having gotten a recent job, i was looking forwards to getting a ride or two from TJ, but now?, that probably won't happen, if i choose the suicide path. I don't know where i'll be at if i'm dead and gone, and where i may end up in the other dimension, i guess that's God's decision huh? I hope God understands my stress, i can't take this any longer. With the tons of medication i take each day, i can't remember what all i take and it's alot. So i'm basically up sh*t creek without a paddle, with cystic fibrosis, sugar diabetes, you name it. [:(] Where i'm going, i don't need no flesh body, or no medicine....like Martin Luther King said, Free at Last, Thank God almighty, I'm Free at Last! YES!

Like i said, it's been fun here, but i must face death, and go on to be with God. So, you all take care & don't work too hard traveling out on the road, and have a Great Season. I'll be watching down from Heaven ( hopefully ). C-ya

~Ben

Ben, I am sorry to hear that your Dad passed away, my prayers are with you and your family.

Suicide is not the answer; please don't think of taking that route. There are plenty of folks that can help you in this grieving and hard time for you. Find a therapist, a suicide hotline, someone, anyone, that can talk to you in person or even over the phone if you want. I'll PM you my phone number, call me. But please consider what suicide would mean to the folks around you, your family, your friends, your new co-workers and how it would affect them, too. No one wants to see you take your life. We may josh you here every now and again, but it's all in fun, I can't think of anyone here that does not like you.

I know it's hard to lose someone close to you, I cried and cried when my Grandpa died. But God wanted him to come home, it was his time. Same with your Dad. God will tell you when it's your time, but suicide is not the answer, you may not end up with Him, there are no guarantees.

I enjoyed visiting with you in Raleigh when I played the fair. I still have the Zipper drawing you made. Please, really think this through and talk to someone before you do something that you cannot change.

Your friend, Chris

---

hang in there ben its going to be ok you got a lot freinds here that will help you get thru this my condolences to you and your family

Ben, please hang in there. Suicide is not the answer. God will help you through this hard time. My sincere condolences to you and your family and prayers go out to all of you. You have lots of friends here that will help you and you have God.

---

wow. hope someone calls about this. get his i.p. and do the right thing. hope some1 caught this in time.

---

Ben--I lost my father as have many on here...I admit that I never considered suicide so I cannot relate %100 poercent to your situation,but I can relate to the pain.

Time does ease the pain.That I know.Ask anyone who lost a loved one and I am sure that vast majority will tell you that the pain and hurt will lesson over time...

One thing is guaranteed-Suicide is PERMANANT...Once done that is it...Take some time to think it through....Give yourself a deadline then if you still feel this way,well I still don't think it is the answer but at least you will have given yourself a shot.

PLease do not do anything rash....

P.M. me if you want to talk...I mean it...God bless ...jeff

sorry for your loss but you have stay strong.
please dont do any foolish ,i have lost a few friends that way.
DON'T DO IT

---

Ben -

So sorry to hear about your Dad. It's tough when someone you love and care about suddenly isn't there anymore. You mention the good Lord, and I'm sure he has a place at his table for your Dad. Stay tough and hang in there, I'm sure the rest of your family and relatives need some strength from you.

I'm surprised at what I'm reading in the rest of your post. I know you haven't had it the easiest, and your health problems are constantly there, hanging over you. But that's no excuse to just give up. There's plenty of folks out there who have it even more worse off than you. Take that faith you have, and remember that God does test you sometimes, but still watches over you at the same time.

If you want to talk, drop me a PM. You aren't alone, you're part of the MCW family. We may give you a hard time sometimes, but that doesn't mean we don't care. You're not the first to go through this, and certainly not the last. Hang in there. [;)][:o)]

---

Ben,

There isn't enough bandwith to explain the what and whys of life. There is no doubt right now all you see is the end of the world. Please look further down the road. Those aren't just words, I lost both my parents years ago and 5 years ago I lost my daughter, the light of my life, to cancer. She left all of us with a 2 year old son, now my pride and joy. I am a strong believer in God but when He took my daughter if you think I didn't have conversions with Him and cussed Him out repeatedly with sailor's language you'd be wrong. God does things with HIS reasons not ours. The reasons may not be apparent but He has His reasons.

You are part of a big family at MCW, no doubt you have friends and family where you are. Please talk to them, call one of us. I'll PM you my phone number, call me anytime. I may not have the answers but I am willing to try. Call me or someone.

You are going through a tough time now. Not one of us can make this walk for you but we can help you up when you stumble, listen when you need to talk, lift you up when you feel down. Let one, if not all of us help you, let us share in your loss.

It hurts when you lose a loved one, especially your folks, but they know we will continue adding to their legacy. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours in this time of great sorrow and need. Our prayers are with your father, believing God called him home for a reason unknown to us.

---

Suicide is NOT the answer. I lost my Mom just a few days ago. My heart is aching like it has never ached before, but I will have to stay strong and you will too. God has a bigger plan for you and He will choose when it's your turn to join him. Hang in there.

So sorry to hear about this, Ben, may he rest in peace.

Ben, I'm really sorry to hear you lost your Dad. I know how hard that can be.[V]

But keep in mind when we face tough times like this, you really found out what your made out of.

Ben,
I lost both parents within 8 months of each other & I know the loss is hard to bear, but it WILL get better with time. To die is a part of life we all will go through but should only be WHEN OUR TIME COMES, not when we THINK it has come. Jimmy & I both share your loss. Yes, PM anyone you want to talk to on Matt's & I'm sure they or I will be glad to talk. I remember seeing and talking to you in Raleigh.
Jim (RRSHOW1)

Sent him a PM, no word back yet, hopefully I (and others that have PM'd him) will hear back soon. He may be busy with funeral arrangements and/or being with family or just not want to talk yet. I just hope that's what it is.

---

you know, not trying to be pessemistic, but we never know who is crying wolf and who aint. i think a mod, or admin should get i.p. from his computer, call and notify local services, and send someone to check on him. and if he is ok, then he will know that people here care. thats my opinion.

---